Frequently bought together
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Add us on Snapchat. Find anything relating to your lifestyle on one single World Map! Our Loyalty Program is second to none! To the majority of people brought up in western societies in the last century, a couple engaged in a relationship that does not espouse monogamy is an oxymoron at best, hypocritical at worst.
The traditional modality of a relationship entails the promise to be faithful and sexually exclusive to a single partner for the duration of the relationship. Swingers take an alternate route the above, however it is one that can engender more trust and honesty than traditional monogamous relationships do. Swingers are couples both straight and gay who have made a conscious, consensual decision to partake in a committed relationship that allows the exploration of recreational sex with other couples and individuals.
The core of a solid swinging relationship is the openness, communication and trust that are required from both partners to be able to discuss matters such as fantasies and desires openly. These are further necessitated when it comes to acting out such fantasies within pre- agreed boundaries.
Sex is therefore a very small part of the Swinging relationship. This form of sexual identity is clearly outside the norm, and pushes the envelope as to what most 'normal' couples would consider acceptable. The question arises - Does the Swinging Lifestyle the same recognition as other minority sexualities? Regardless of the form of swinging lifestyle a couple is engaged in, the common rule that runs through all swinging relationships is that 'no means no'; and that any behavior that brings discomfort or crosses any boundaries that the couples may set is anathema to the lifestyle.
It is also an established expectation that couples should have discussed their boundaries prior to trying swinging. Another pillar of the swinging lifestyle is that polite acceptance and refusal are paramount to maintaining a healthy atmosphere in any swingers club or relationship. This draws parallels from the gay cursing scene, where no always means no, and that a polite decline should never be taken personally.
The clandestine nature of swinging and the swinger's lifestyle community seems to have created an etiquette that all but expunges the possibility for violence or acrimonious conflict. This etiquette creates a situation where women enjoy a degree of sexual confidence, freedom and power that is rarely found in the outside world. This more fluid version of monogamy can be seen as a sexual power shift in favor of women within the traditional monogamous relationship structure.
The concept of monogamous relationships has been inexorably tied to the institution of marriage between couples as well as that of relationships in the 'commitment' phase. It is noteworthy however that monogamy is required for neither of the above, rather, it is society that assumes that the former cannot exist without the latter. Swinging and swingers are not hell bent on destroying either marriage or relationships between couples in their more general scope.
Rather, the distinguishing that the imposition of monogamy onto their relationship is purely societal allows swinger couples to maintain relationships that mature to a point where the aforementioned sexual power dynamic is fluid and re-negotiated at a subconscious plane.
This practical arrangement supplants the socially arbitrated and pre-determined convention of monogamy. However, it was then the woman that made the effort to maintain this lifestyle practice. Swinging offers women more than sexual freedom. It offers them the opportunity for self-discovery. This is demonstrated by the very high levels of bi-sexuality found in swinging women, but that fact that bi-sexuality in men in all but abhorred in the swinging community.
This may be tied to the fact that society deems it far more acceptable for woman to engage in relations with another woman for her and her partner's pleasure, than for the same couple to swap partners. Whatever the reason behind this trend, the swinging lifestyle is one of the possibilities for modern women to explore all the facets of their sexuality in safe and comfortable environment.
Swingers clubs in general range from nightclubs catering exclusively to swinging couples and single women looking to join the couples , to events held in hotels and rented locations. The latter are referred to as off-premises, and have the same function as a speed-dating event in that couples attend to meet other likeminded swinger couples in the lifestyle, there is however no swinging on site, and whatever happens after the event is at the discretion of the couples in question.
Swinger parties in private homes generally come with the implication that some sort of swinging will occur. These swingers' parties are generally labeled 'on premises' - which can also refer to a public nightclub, these, however, tend to have various playrooms that offer a degree of privacy and levels of intimacy for couples as well as singles in the lifestle. Swingers clubs have oft faced harassment by authorities that perceive the swinging lifestyle to be 'devious' or that it 'endangers' societies moral values.
These misconceptions have lead to incidents such as the harassment of the Lifestyles Organization Ltd. The oddity being that the LSO did NOT have a liquor license of its own, and relied on that of the hotels and convention centers in which it operated. These establishments found themselves under scrutiny for the mere offence of accepting the LSO's business. After a grueling court battle the law came down in favor of the LSO.
The fact that the LSO was targeted by the ABC despite not having a liquor license and not offering sex on premises was considered as a given, considering that the underlying intention of the event was that sex would occur, somewhere, and it would most probably be occurring between married individuals who were not married to each other. A more worrisome assault on swinger clubs was held in Phoenix Arizona, where in the city in question passed an ordinance that would allow the closing of all swingers clubs.
This would follow the declaration that swingers clubs are "A disorderly house and a public nuisance per se which should be prohibited" and that they "contribute to the spread of sexually transmitted diseases" , and "are inimical to the health, safety, general welfare and morals of the inhabitants of the city of Phoenix".
The above attack on the swinging community and the lifestyle came from an organization entitled the National Family Legal Foundation; the primary argument in their case being that public morality and safety were at stake.
With morality being a subjective matter, the swinging community based it's defense on the matter of STD transmission. It was further proven that the infection rate was significantly lower than that found in other sexual pursuits such as cheating, prostitution or bars.
Despite the arguments set forth being baseless, the ordinance was unanimously passed by the city council. Significantly, the ordinance did not put an end to swinging in Phoenix, as many swingers clubs and organization currently operate openly. Club owners are legally exposed to being charged with a misdemeanor, it seems however, that the ordinance was passed as a 'moral token gesture' to show that the city was morally against the swinging lifestyle, and that there was no intention on enforcing it at all.
The hypocrisy of passing a law, only for it to be ignored, but simply to prove a moral point seems to be lost on the crusading Christians, it is however a perfect example of the moral conflict surrounding the swinging lifestyle. Staunch supporters of the traditional model of monogamy in relationships may find it morally and sexually offensive, whist swingers find the traditional model to be almost unnatural.
The above moral conflict beggars the question of weather the swinging lifestyle could be compared with other sexual identities, such as homosexuality. The polarizing aspect of the morals in question indicate that this is indeed so. The opposite is indicated by the fact that swingers appear to do their utmost to keep their sexual lifestyle within the confines of the bedroom, swingers club or lifestyle resort.
Swingers do not flaunt their sexuality in the same way that many homosexuals do, and most swinging couples do not tell their family or friends about their sexual identity in the belief that what goes on in the bedroom stays in the bedroom.
Swingers consider the lifestyle a choice that each person and couple should make for himself or herself. The fact that a person swings in a previous relationship does not necessarily mean that they would swing in all subsequent relationships. This goes on to prove, that the swinging lifestyle, as a sexual identity is not an inexorable part of someone's sexual orientation, but rather something that can be brought to the surface if it is fitting to the current relationship.
Furthermore, this contradicts the long time belief that sexuality is something that pervades all other areas of a person's life. On the other hand, whilst there is no golden rule that states that a person's sexual identity should consume, or bear itself on other non-sexual aspects of that person's life, many swinger couples might subconsciously be attracted to the swinging lifestyle as a method of subtle subversion to societal norms. Since the status quo of western society dictates that sexual matters are private and should remain in the bedroom, swinger couples adopt this mentality and turn it against the society that espouses it, and regard the swinging lifestyle as a personal matter that they keep to themselves, with no shame in keeping their sexual preferences to themselves.